We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
