so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
