I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
