he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
