So drunk its hurt
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
