Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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