so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize