found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
