Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
