I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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