We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
