I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my sisters under your porch take her home
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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