Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
