Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My hand turned me down
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
