Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
