Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
