It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
