Whod you bang
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
