In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
