i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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