is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
