we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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