Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
