I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
