we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
