its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
