Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
