i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
