ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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