5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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