well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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