i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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