Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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