Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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