I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
