While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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