I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
did you just send me my own nude
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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