Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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