i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
