I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize