3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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