So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
