Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
