hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Randomize
