We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
