There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
