My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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