summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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