I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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