She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
